Got the following list as a forward. Being quite a typical desi, I do have to agree with quite a few of them

• The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.
• You keep comparing prices at electronics store for the phone you bought six months ago.
• You bought a Toyota or Honda car only because it has better resale value.
• You ask for a small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free.
• You spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get full security refund from your landlord.
• You don’t know any American outside your work.
• You try to ignore all other unknown desis around you.
• You talk to Americans as if you represent your whole country.
• You frequent to yard sales every week.
• You use grocery bags as garbage bags.
• Office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house.
• You don’t want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer.
• You decide to marry a girl/guy that your parents fixed you up with.
• You split the tax from your common grocery bill.
• You know more than one plans offered by long distance companies.
• You take plain water instead of Coke for lunch.
• You take any drink with no ice because you can’t drink ice.
• You ask before eating any meat “Is this beef?”
• You know all the facilities available at public library.
• You find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.
• You take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.
• You like onion rings at Burger King.
• You are looking for dual voltage appliances and GSM cellphones
• The number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
• Your first name ends with kumar, bhai or ben
• You have at least one India made pressure cooker in your kitchen.
• You know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Taco Bell.
• Put oil in your hair.
• You have a picture of Indian Deity on the dashboard of your car.
• This thought comes to you “Oh Shit I just saw another desis” when you are window shopping at a local mall.
• You are compelled to visit every major city in U.S. just so as to say that “Yes, I have been there”.
• You pay your bills the day they come in mail.
• You buy rice in the 20lb bags or larger.
• You have postponed buying answering machine because the phone you are planning to buy six months later has built-in answering machine.
• You start spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy, T as in train… well you get the idea.
• You bring over the counter medicine like Iodex and Vicks from India
• You know the current differential in gold prices between India and U.S.
• Use the credit card with maximum cash back
• You have collected enough frequent flier miles for an international trip.
• You are saving more than 30% of your salary.

Got this as a forward on one of my under-grad college groups. Was too funny and wanted to share post it here…. read on….

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague : Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward
karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh…. Naye
language seekh. Night out Maar….Fundoo programming kar
like me….! Do something cool man !!

You: Achha! To usse Kya hoga .

Your Colleague: Impression!!! Appraisal !!!
Har appraisal main tu No 1!
Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You: Phir kya hoga…

Your Colleague: Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!!
Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a
Director of the Company man !!

You: Acchha to phir kya hoga…

Your Colleague: Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega !
Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You: To ab main kya kar raha hoon ????

“Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste”

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Driven by ctrl V

Got this as a forward on one of the Yahoo Groups that I have subscribed to. It was hilarious reading all these as there are things here that I too am going to do once I go back in December. Looking for tickets nowadays and it is all a big pain. Anyways, read on….

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn’t need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says ‘Excuse me’.
17. Says “Hey” instead of “Hi”.
Says “Un-hun” instead of “Hmm”.
Says “Yogurt” instead says “Curds”.
Says “Cab” instead of “Taxi”.
Says “Candy” instead of “Chocolate”.
Says “Cookie” instead of “Biscuit”.
Says “Free Way” instead of “Highway”.
Says “got to go” instead of “Have to go”.
Says “Oh” instead of “Zero”, (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn’t forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats “Zee” several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says “Oh! British Style!!!!”
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about “Jet Lag”.
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink “Diet Coke”, instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces “schedule” as “skejule”, and “module” as “mojule”.
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
1. Tries to begin conversation with “In US ….” or “When I was in US…”